Skit: Merchant of Information Technology

The Skit: Merchant of Information Technology

Characters

PM: Program Manager

VP: Vice-President of Nazi Technologies

Nihal: Critical Resource

P.K.Sorcar: Magician

Gayatri: Nihal's Girlfriend (who could never be)

Act I Scene I

PM: Hi Nihal! As usual working late?

Nihal: Hi Sir! This delivery is very important for the clients.

PM: Hmm....

Nihal: Aaen enn actually (stammers and repeats words) actually Sir, sir for my promotion too Sir!

PM: Aaen promotion yes, yes, true, very true...! Let’s go for a small PT.

Nihal: O yes Sir! Sir the entire component was designed and developed by me right from scratch!

PM: But I heard some defects were there in acceptance....

Nihal: No Sir! Zero defects!

PM: Ok Ok very good, very good...! But you see we also need to mentor young talents...there is no backup for you Nihal

Nihal: No Sir, I mentored two people for this project! Actually Sir, I am planning to marry this year so planning for a long honey-moon Sir! My first marriage you see...

PM: First marriage? How many marriages are you planning in your career? Don’t do too many! Only the first wife will get medical insurance eenh. The second one only after the first is no more there....Corporate policy you understand..

Nihal: Yes Sir, but my promotion and onsite?

PM: Yes sure, sure! Keep doing good!

Act- II Scene- I

PM:  Sir you called me?

VP: Yes, Deshpande! You must be aware of the quarterly profit statistics of Nazi Technologies declared yesterday!

PM: Yes, Sir! We have made a profit of 16%! Nice naa!

VP: Deshpande! Are you nuts? Q_on_Q profit has gone down by 10%! Corporate has decided to go on cost cutting mode. All promotions must be frozen and performance pay nullified.

PM: Sir, but aen en (PM is nervous) actually that is difficult for my account! We have some critical resources due for promotion this month.

VP: Come-on Deshpande! You are the manager right? Handle it

PM: Sir, I can handle it! But these resources are critical, they may put down the papers if promotions and incentives are not given.

VP: Deshpande! Are you out of your mind? Read the newspapers! US and Euro-Zone have done it again! Market is in recession! Soon it will go into depression. So nobody can go for a job-switch. Think Deshpande think! Despite all this I want your promotion and onsite to France to happen. You have been waiting for that too long. Haven’t you?

PM: Yes Sir! No promotion is happening from my account this financial year. Actually my wife’s cousin is in Paris. They have already planned for euro-trip. Just look after my promotion and the onsite Sir

VP: Yes, yes! Besides, you also have a housing loan too don’t forget!

Act-II Scene- II

PM: (over phone) Hmm.....Michael Connect me to the magician Mr. P.K. Sircar!

Magician: Mr. Deshpande! How are you sir? Long time eenh

PM: Babu-moshai! How are you? Fine?

Magician: We don’t have the comfort of air-conditioned offices, Sir! The same dirty roads of Calcutta!

PM: Sir, last time you told me that you needed a good place for your daughter’s wedding? Right?

Magician: Yes, yes! I am still looking for it.

PM: Sir, actually you can use our Nazi Technologies Resort for the same. But I need a favour, actually!

Magician: That’s so kind of you Mr. Deshpande! Please tell me what I can do for you?

PM: Somehow tomorrow morning can you create some kind of traffic jam for 1 hour around my office by magic. I want every employee of my office to be late to office tomorrow.

Magician: Strange?

PM: Nazi Resorts is also a very strange and wonderful place, babu-moshai

Magician: Ok Sir! It will be done! One hour traffic jam at Nazi Technologies tomorrow morning. Done!

PM: Listen, Babu-moshai! Also by some magic make all the attendance readers of my office fast by 10 minutes. So whoever punches no matter how early is always late. Ok? Except me!

Magician: Khub-bhalo! (Very good)

Act-III Scene-I

PM: Nihal wanted to talk to you! See, actually your performance has been very good but then you were late last Monday weren’t you?

Nihal: No Sir!

PM: Why not? Everybody was late that day. There was a huge jam and so everybody was late by 10 minutes after 8.

Nihal: No Sir! For the last six months I am coming at 5 in the morning!

PM: Why so early?

Nihal: Actually Sir, my girlfriend Gayatri is working in Harry Potter Technologies in Night Shift to match her US Timings so. I drop her home at 3 and then come to office at 5...

PM: You would be a doting husband, Nihal!

Nihal: Sir there is actually a small problem!

PM: What problem?

Nihal: Sir actually my girlfriend has told me that only after my promotion and onsite is confirmed, she’ll change her status in Facebook as Committed so....

PM: Yes yes promotion! Actually I wanted to talk about that...see since you are always on time in office and your performance is good too so you must be given a promotion....

Nihal: Yes Sir! Working very hard, Sir! My marriage is depending on my promotion!

PM: Hmm that is a problem! But you see today Nazi Technologies has a policy that if you marry a lady also working in Nazi Technologies, you get a marriage incentive! In your case it would be double incentive. Also talent would be retained within the organisation. And one day you can become the CEO too by staying and growing in the same company.

Nihal: Sir but I love Gayatri truly!

PM: No problem. You are a very committed person. You can love any girl very truly. See true love false love is nothing! It’s all chromosome portability and inter-operability. Very common in a good software architecture! I mean you talk to Gayatri, make her understand if she doesn’t then you always have options.

Act-IV Scene I

Nihal: Gayathri, like I wanted to tell you that my promotion is delayed..

Gayathri: What? That means no hike...But our marriage? My platinum ring that you promised...No!

Nihal: But I can’t live without you..

Gayathri: Actually my dad just received a call from one of his old friends..his son is working in  Microsoft Technologies...Green Card USA....so I think we should move on.. Nihal..sorry

[Flash-mob enters and Nihal joins them on the song Tu paisa paisa karti karti hai tu paisa pe kyun marti hai....everybody starts dancing.....]